VITAL SANCTUARY

This election, but most of all the election results, have left a lot of us feeling anxious, sad, hopeless, helpless and even a bit depressed.  We don’t have a clue what the future will bring but plenty of us (myself included even though I try really hard not to) are imagining, based on the campaign platform and the man who was elected, what might happen in the coming months and years in our homeland.  We’ve already seen some violence, on both sides, and some people now feel more emboldened than ever to express their bigotry, xenophobia, homophobia and other things that some of us are that they feel uncomfortable with.  I’m no different than anyone else and I have had days when I feel physically ill, emotionally anxious and even have had to resort to hiding in the ladies room at work to have a good cry. 

Some people are choosing to protest and while I do share their angst and their anxieties I won’t be marching; at least not yet as far as I know.  Some of us are doing our very best to encourage others who share our feelings about this to ramp up on being kind, being caring, being compassionate, being generous and just generally making our day-to-day society less frightening and a whole lot more nurturing.  No matter who chooses what method to cope with this or even to exhibit to others how we are unable to really cope with it we ALL must take care of ourselves.  Stress and anxiety are killers in a very real sense and one of those ‘senses’ is physically.  The longer we indulge in feeling stressed and anxious the less effective our immune system is so the more likely we will become ill and also the more likely it is that we will succumb to some sort of stress/anxiety related heart illness that could lead to heart attack, stroke and more…which could in the end kill us.  So it is in everyone’s best interest to figure out how to deal with this in a way that will save us from a hell of anxiety and stress. 

This last weekend, after a Friday filled with extreme anxiety and sadness and a feeling of helplessness, I made a conscious decision to spend my weekend trying to reclaim peace in my life and in my being.  I was successful for the most part and found very little anxiety and stress begin to creep into my being. So in the spirit of supporting one another I wanted to share some thoughts with the hope that others who are struggling as I have been will find a way to create and then to hold onto calm and peace in their lives.

First and what feels like the most effective thing thus far was a moratorium on news of any kind whatsoever and then pretty close to a moratorium on social media only going onto social media to post something positive in nature.  My husband and I did, out of sheer habit, discuss the ‘current events’ from time to time throughout the weekend but for the most part we tried to steer clear of discussing it in any way, shape or form. We not only needed some 'me/us' time we deserved it, as do we all.

As we dedicated ourselves to keeping negativity out of ourselves, out of our home and out of our relationship I realized what we were doing.  In effect what we were doing was shoring up the ever present but quite invisible ideal of SANCTUARY that our home is to us.  I realized as we made this concerted effort together that when we get caught up in the emotions of a thing, no matter how tragic or important, and we bring it into our homes where we have permission to be our true selves more than anywhere else we are destroying the ONLY sanctuary that most of us have ever had or will ever have. 

Why is sanctuary so important?  Oh let me count the ways…

Sanctuary is our/your one place on the entire planet where you can feel the most at peace.  It’s our/your port in the storm of life and is where we/you go to recharge our/your batteries, lick our/your wounds, find our/your way and is where if one has a significant other we/you can come together and nurture one another. 

So I suppose what I’m suggesting is that no matter how deeply we are getting involved in politics or even just the many discussions occurring on social media about our current situation in the land that we live or how passionately we may feel that we need to be involved that finding, creating or just going back to the place, wherever it may be, that is our sanctuary from all external issues, trials, tribulations and things that stress us where we feel the safest, the most nurtured and the calmest.  We/you surely can fight the good fight but take time for nurturing our/your selves no matter what it takes.  We are all human and we all need a break from whatever is causing us stress or negative feelings.

May peace be with you all in this time of great uncertainty and division.  If we stick together we’ll make it through, I promise, but in the meantime be good to yourselves; you deserve it.